Entries; AboutMe; Tagboard; Links;

{

}

plusquelavie;

Best viewed in Mozilla Firefox. 1280 x 800 :D

Today is a damn crappy day. First of all, whatever was planned on this day since last week didn't happen. ALL BECAUSE OF SOME DUMB THING THAT HAPPENED ON MONDAY. Because of that stupid thing, this whole week's plans got ruined. And the whole damned family got thrown into chaos, putting unnecessary stress that is totally not needed. On me, on my mum.

And all this happened because of one person. Most of this family's problems are because of him. How nice, and most people would actually realise it and try to get out of the way. But oh, no, I think he relishes being the centre of attention. Getting people to fuss over him, loving that feeling of being king. And I get the feeling that because he favours one over the other, he's trying to break their relationship. Main point? He's a selfish stubborn piece of shit, and I despise the fact that I'm related to him.

Now, because of him, I get another shitload pile of stress unloaded onto me. As if having to deal with studies isn't enough. It's the damned make or break year. Getting all these piled onto me now isn't exactly at the best of time. As if being a listening ear hard enough, as if undergoing all this (although albeit indirectly) isn't sressful enough, now you have to pile all this on me, scolding me as if I'm not stressed out enough as it is, scolding me for every itty bitty detail. And how come I get all this shit while he gets nothing huh? I know who's the favourite, and it isn't me. But you don't have to be so obvious, do you? I save up for my own stuff, while he asks and you sponsor him. $100+ for earphones that he hardly even uses. I ask for some $17 one and you ask if I really need it. He asks for things and he gets it within a blink of an eye. Me? I need to persuade and practically beg for it. How fair is that huh? And why is it that when he makes the stupid comments, you scold me as well as him? I'm not the idiot who doesn't know how to hold my tongue. It's not my fault his brain is full of air. Why the hell am I dragged into the conversation huh?

I'm really damn tempted to force myself to the edge and maybe just teeter off. See how they cope without me. Say I'm so much more reliable and responsible than him. Say I'm much more sensible and that there's no need to worry about me. So what? Doesn't mean that I don't need to have fun. I'm still a kid, still far from being a full adult. Doesn't mean you just fuss over him and I get ignored. I'm a human being too, I need care too. Maybe if I fall over one day, they might actually just realise my importance and regret so much that they didn't cherish me. But it's a one way path and I'll never know the result, do I?

Whatever, it is still a tempting thought.

Today is a damn crappy day. First of all, whatever was planned on this day since last week didn't happen. ALL BECAUSE OF SOME DUMB THING THAT HAPPENED ON MONDAY. Because of that stupid thing, this whole week's plans got ruined. And the whole damned family got thrown into chaos, putting unnecessary stress that is totally not needed. On me, on my mum.

And all this happened because of one person. Most of this family's problems are because of him. How nice, and most people would actually realise it and try to get out of the way. But oh, no, I think he relishes being the centre of attention. Getting people to fuss over him, loving that feeling of being king. And I get the feeling that because he favours one over the other, he's trying to break their relationship. Main point? He's a selfish stubborn piece of shit, and I despise the fact that I'm related to him.

Now, because of him, I get another shitload pile of stress unloaded onto me. As if having to deal with studies isn't enough. It's the damned make or break year. Getting all these piled onto me now isn't exactly at the best of time. As if being a listening ear hard enough, as if undergoing all this (although albeit indirectly) isn't sressful enough, now you have to pile all this on me, scolding me as if I'm not stressed out enough as it is, scolding me for every itty bitty detail. And how come I get all this shit while he gets nothing huh? I know who's the favourite, and it isn't me. But you don't have to be so obvious, do you? I save up for my own stuff, while he asks and you sponsor him. $100+ for earphones that he hardly even uses. I ask for some $17 one and you ask if I really need it. He asks for things and he gets it within a blink of an eye. Me? I need to persuade and practically beg for it. How fair is that huh? And why is it that when he makes the stupid comments, you scold me as well as him? I'm not the idiot who doesn't know how to hold my tongue. It's not my fault his brain is full of air. Why the hell am I dragged into the conversation huh?

I'm really damn tempted to force myself to the edge and maybe just teeter off. See how they cope without me. Say I'm so much more reliable and responsible than him. Say I'm much more sensible and that there's no need to worry about me. So what? Doesn't mean that I don't need to have fun. I'm still a kid, still far from being a full adult. Doesn't mean you just fuss over him and I get ignored. I'm a human being too, I need care too. Maybe if I fall over one day, they might actually just realise my importance and regret so much that they didn't cherish me. But it's a one way path and I'll never know the result, do I?

Whatever, it is still a tempting thought.